Every feelings and emotions is acceptable untill it turn into negativity and cross its limits. Similarly,self criticism can be healthy when it is positive but it can devastating when it is negative.
Do you ever wonder that why some people always found in negatively evaluating themselves and always complaint about their own faults and behavior. They think their shortcomings and weakness are responsible for every bad happening in their lives and they are worthless for the success. Actually this happens due to self criticism.
What is self criticism?
Self criticism is the act of evaluating your own faults, weaknesses and often involves humiliating yourself while comparing to others.
Self criticism is healthy only when comparison is healthy and finding your own faults could head you towards better positivity and betterment. For example,if you compare yourself with your friend who study at least 3 hours after coming home from university while you prefer utilize your all time in hangout. As a result your friend scored high marks in exam while you have just scored low. Now when you self criticized and compare yourself with your friend but as result you also start to utilize your time in studies to also score good. This is how self criticism can be healthy when it helps you to become a better person rather than it humliates you and weakens your self esteem.
Let's talk about the reason behind traumatizing self criticism:
1. Less affectionate Caregivers:
Whether it's a emotional or physical upbringing of a child nothing plays a vital role than behavior of care givers and surroundings. People whose parents are more controlling and less affectionate are likely to get involved in negative self criticism. Love and affection from caregivers is the building block of a personality of a child. Insufficient affection, care and unloving attitude from caregivers is the core reason behind many psychological issues. One day parents show extra affection while another day they show extreme detachment and rudeness to their child. This inconsistency is just like a emotional torture for a child. Such inconsistency in attention and affection could be very mentally disturbing for a child. He may not be able to understand their own parents.
2. Discouragement and shame:
Shame is the core of self criticism. There is no doubt that we are very poor when it comes to encouraging someone specially if I talk about parents. When parents excessively discourage their child,there is clear chances that it leads to insecurity in child. When insecurity is developed once, child is likely to doubt his own abilities and expertise.
The worst that we can do with a child as parents is to make them always feel ashamed on their acts. When parents only make their child feel ashamed on their mistakes and situations instead of providing support and build trust, a child will always feel responsible for all bad situation.
3. High expectations and standards:
Parents whose expectations are high with their kids and when those expectations are failed, parents become abusive towtars their kids,deny strength and never take child side. When parents never take their child side and never support them in any matter it will cause low self esteem and feelings of worthlessness in child. Child with a low self esteem always think that he is bad and everything bad happens because of them. Low self esteem can never allow a child to live his life fully.
When child is failed to achieve those high standards which their parent's set for them , parents lose trust on them and as a result child get deprived from further support on future.
4. Past experiences:
Sometimes it's not it's not our caregivers and society is the reason behind self criticism but it's our bitter past experiences involves which leads us towards negative self criticism. Back to back failures and bad experiences whether in Personal or professional life could be very disappointed for an individual and its become to focus on positivity after consecutive failures. The schemas formed due to our past experiences make us feels like that something is wrong with our own self because every bad things happens to them.
5. Environment, unloving friends:
It's not always our family and past experiences compel us to criticize our own self but our colleagues and dearest friends always blame and instead of appreciating us which leads to self criticism.
At last, it's not easy to drag yourself from the wrath of self criticism but with the help of supportive and understanding friends and loved ones we can take a step towards improving us and stop sepf criticizing ourselves.
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