We humans always considered superior in this world than any creatures due to our knowledge, intelligence , sensitivity, sympathy, emotions and feelings and we considered one of the most trustful creatures to share our feelings, stories,pain and joy. We considered humans as the most sensible creature as we have discovered so many astonishing facts and what not but when we talk about sensitivity then we humans are insensitive towards the feelings of another human being.
Unfortunately,we have learnt every new knowledge but we still have not learnt that how to respond to anyone who is going through something. We still have not learnt that how to choose words while consoling someone during their trauma. We are so insensitive towards other pain and emotions. We do not take a minute to replace ourselves in place of others so that we can learn other's trauma to communicate betther. We humans never think before speaking. We become so open to give useless advises to everyone who don't want advice at all.
One of the biggest reason that people become emotionally deprived and Depressed now a days is the insensitivity of us. Our insensitive and non Empathetic nature towards others pain is making the world Depressed and hopeless because we never acquire knowledge on how to respond who is going through pain.
As we humans are social animals and we cannot live without sharing but unfortunately sharing become one of the most disappointing thing ever. Because now people get nothing from sharing except more disappointments.
Insensitivity comes when there is no Empathy exists in you. Empaths are God gifted to related other feelings,emotions and feelings as their own and that's why they are good listener and they know what to say and what not to say. But anyone can be Empath by practicing it.
One thing which I experienced While dealing with many people and listening people stories is that insensitivity comes from those people who usually have not gone through some sort of trauma like loss of a loved one, separation, abusive relationship, toxic family,mental and physical health related issues. Such people usually really do not know how to respond to a grived person because life.
It's true that life is not same for all. Some people are chosen by Allah to go through much difficult times and Empathy is gift for them when they comes out from that phase. Again I will repeat that life is not same for all. It's true that all go through something terrible in our life but the intensity and number of trauma and bad experiences from person to person. So usually empathy will not come to those who suffered less in their life.
Now let's move towards how to condolence in a right way and what not to say to a grived person:
• Death of a loved one is the most painful thing a person experiences. No can replace your blood relations,finance, husband etc. It's very inappropriate to say someone at a funeral of their fiance or husband that you will find someone eslo better so do not cry. You may never realize that what have done by saying that thing. Just imagine a person just lost her husband and you are consoling her by saying that you will find better. The person is going through severe trauma and she don't need someone else right now which replace her husband but at that time she needs someone who listen her. So, be very careful with your words.
• Sometimes the void of loosing someone cannot be filled with the passage of time. In this situation when you noticed someone that he/she is unable to forget the death of loved one then please avoid saying that, it's too late you should forget that person. Sometimes it's takes someone's whole life but the person is unable to forget.
• If we just start concentrating on our lives instead taking interest in other's life then things could be better. When we accept that fact that everyone is fighting with their own life then it's possible that people may start empathizing with each other. Do you ever wonder that upon meeting someone we always focuses on weakness and pitfalls of that person. We always ask about people's weaknesses like: why you have gained so much weight? When you are getting married? When you are having your child?. We always initiate conversation which is based on weaknesses. We people are not ready to live people the way they like. We are always curious to know others secret and weakness.
Just think about it if you are not getting married and every person you meet is asking the same question that when you are getting married? Then how would you feel?. There is no need to be curious about someone's else life. If someone wants to talk about any issue then they will initiate the conversation itself. Unfortunately,we are unable to relate with other situation untill something happened with our own self.
In the end the parameter of observing a pain varies from person to person. If someone is taking time longer than others to letting go any trauma then it's totally fine. Instead of making things more problematic for a person we should spread positivity and love to everyone around us and avoid taking interest in other's life and asking irrelevant questions. Be kind to everyone because you never know what's written for you in future. Maybe you are just making a fun of someone who is always stressed out and then you suffered the same thing.
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