In today's world where people are battling with corona virus,the way it is affecting life, similarly mental health issues are emerging increasingly like ever before. As we all know that any mental illness starts from family.
In our culture we do not have any concept and strategies regarding parenting. We are not even familiar with the word Parenting. From childhood we fantasied a lot about our prince charming and having lavish wedding, honeymoon but we do not even think about that a lot of responsibilities are waiting for us after marriage including parenting. People plan everything for their wedding and future life from the hair pin to their shoes,from having a baby to decide his/her future but the only thing people are either not interested or willing to think about parenting style.
When people are not aware about right parenting then will produce same emotionally disturbed future generation with high number of emotional and mental issues. Only right parenting can style can save future generation with mental health issues. Nothing can save future generation with mental illness until we start practicing right parenting style.
Here I am explaining some points through which people can learn about right parenting style which hopefully avoid further emotional mess in our future generation:
1. Your child is an individual:
Sometimes being a parent we only consider ourselves a complete human being and superior while we forget that our child is also a human and he/she has its own brain which is working. Your child is an individual means he/she has sense and can actively talk about his/her rights. It's true that chances of all the decisions right is minimum but humiliating your child and realizing them that they are not able to sense and analyze the situation hence they cannot participate in decision making is a wrong way of communication.
Realize and accept the uniqueness in your child. Do not impose your career or relationship choices to them. Accept your child likes and dislikes towards any profession.
Prioritize your child involvement in decision making through which he/she develope confidence, good decision making skillsand good insight. It would allow him/her to explore himself/herself.
2. Encourage:
The worst thing we do with our kids is feeling them inferior infront of others or make them feels like they are not worthy. This would create inferiority complex in your kid and eventually he/she would think that I am not capable of doing anything good. If your kid is weak in any area of his/her life like whether academics or social relations. Encourage them that they can do. Support and encouragement from parents is the thing which the child needs every step of their life.
Child who suffered lack of support and encouragement from their parents have hard time believing on themselves and their abilities.
4. Make them feel loved:
Love is one of those things which we need for life time. Make your child believed that your parents love you more than any one and our love is unconditional. Make them realize that your parents are your friends and you can share everything,every aspect of your life with us. We are ready to listen and will do every possible thing to solve your problems. You are not alone. Treat your kid in a friendly environment where he/she feels comfortable to talk to you on any issue.
Teach your other kids about siblings bond and love,describe them the importance of siblings love and care. Indulge them in activities where they learn about the importance of family and siblings and how they should stand with family in time of difficulty. Make sure your kids spent quality time with each other so that love will grow between them.
When a child grew up in a environment where he/she got complete love from his/her family then the chance of getting involved in wrong relationship in adulthood become less because when an individual feels like they did not get enough love from their families then they can trust anyone blindly in search of true love.
5. Give space:
Being a parent we most of the times did not realize that our kid needs time and space. Talking on same topic or trying to make them understand the same thing for the whole day is not the right way of communication and deliver your thought. It will make your kid annoy and they will never able to learn your point of view. Give them space and time.
6. Love has limits:
As we all know that too much of everything is harmful either it is love,hate or any emotion. Sometimes parents are failed to realize that they are making their child toxic, emotionally unstable by taking their side all the time instead of correcting them when they are wrong. Parents become so emotional for their child and start supporting in doing bad things instead of creating sense in them to differentiate between right and wrong. In this way, a child become rebel, forgets all his/her good manners because of their parents over supporting nature.
Such child will never respect his elders, never follow cultural values, develope attitude of ego, obsession, stubborn and feels like they are right in every aspect.
7. Correct them on time:
Some people have belief that one should not scold his/her kid at en early age because when an individual become adult, he/she would eventually learn. Means one should not stop child regardless of how much that child is involved in bad things and behavior. Such Parents usually have beliefs that child will learn itself in adolescence and there is no need to correct them.
For example, if your child is aggressive on very little things, short tempered and you thought it will get better with the passage of time when he/she will be mature. This gives a child wrong impression that he/she is right and showing anger on smallest thing is normal. If we show reluctance to stop child on time that he/she must not be angry on small things then this will become a part of her personality and nature and it would not be changed later.
From different researchers it has been showed that child's behavior could be changed till the age of 7. Child is more responsive to change till age 7. After that its too difficult to change that particular behavior.
Such pathogenic parenting style leaves long term disturbance in both parents and child life. A child would suffer life style due to such wrong parenting style. They are at verge of poor mental health,coping mechanism and poor decision making skills
8. Discuss:
Make your that you spent quality time with your kids at least once in a week which follows healthy discussion in which you discuss moral values, religious values,talk about life, experiences. So that your child would develope insight about life,his/her moral and religious values which would help them in future.
One last thing to remember is that we can do mistakes because we are all humans but mistakes in parenting cause long term disturbance which can not be sort out easily. So, everyone must realize the importance of right parenting because through right parenting style we can save our generation from mental health related issues. World could be a better place to live as long as parents play their role wisely.
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